Friday, 24 August 2012

How we have changed

We are ticking on along nicely at the moment.  

Husband and I had a conversation the other day about how cancer really has put us on a different path.

In terms of work, he was looking for opportunities away from where we live now.  This could have resulted in a move.  I was on the path to a job with much greater responsibility and pay.  Thanks to Money Saving Expert (which I can't recommend highly enough for people struggling with money/debt) we were on track to sorting our finances.  We were giving serious thought to having a third child.

Now, money is chaotic.  I'll be honest, I struggle to get a grip with it and can be very over generous with the kids and family.  I am trying to reign this in as I need to save for holiday next year.  I am trying desperately to keep the job I have, let alone get a promotion.  That won't happen whilst we are still on treatment, and not for a while afterwards.  Husband feels unable to apply for jobs further away in these uncertain times.  I don't think baby 3 will ever happen now.  I am tired to my bones.  This makes me feel so incredibly sad.

It feels like we have had so much taken from us.

Of course, I am grateful we have a house, and an income.  And most of all, I am grateful that I have two children here with me.  We can hope for good health in the future.

I would still rather it had never happened though.

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