Thursday, 8 December 2011


Whilst I took son to toddler Christmas party, daughter's Dad took her to clinic.

Her blood results have shown that she is once again neutropenic.  This means she has very little in the way of immunity from illness.  I am distressed by this as she's been off chemo for a fortnight to allow her body to get rid of a sinus infection that just wasn't shifting.  Her counts should be very recovered, not lower than they were!  So she's off chemo for at least another week.  All of this is a further delay in her treatment.  It also renders her vulnerable to other infections.  

Please let her counts come up.  Please let her stay well.  Please let us celebrate her little brother's birthday and Christmas together as a family in our home.

I bought a toy at our local Matalan as they were doing a collection to give out to the sick children at LGI.  I think I was trying to buy insurance that if I get this for them, my child might not be on the receiving end.  It's a bit like when I gave £20 to a colleague who was raising money for a children's cancer charity last year.  I think part of me did it through sympathy, and part of me was thankful it wasn't my child.  I suppose another part of me felt it was insurance - if you hand over the cash and show you care, your child will be immune.  Such shit.  Dare you turn down the cancer collector?  Is it superstitious like saying no to the traveller lady who knocks on your door selling hairbrushes?  You buy one because it is too risky not to.

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